ADHD Children and the School System - the early years

In a previous hub, "Living With an ADHD/ODD Child, I introduced you to my son, who has ADHD/ODD, Anxiety Disorder, and some Post Traumatic Stress.

Not only is it a challenge at home or out in the community, it is a a huge challenge to find the necessary support for your child in the regular school system.

When I brought my newborn son home from the hospital, I knew my patience would be tested due to his sleep patterns (or lack thereof), but I had no idea what awaited me. When he finally made the step from preschool to kindergarten I thought my worst challenges were behind me...but I was in for a surprise.

When my son attended preschool, I asked his teachers if he exhibited any signs of Attention Deficit, as I was having a difficult time getting him to stay on task at home with things like keeping his room tidy, getting dressed without supervision, eating, brushing his teeth....all normal things that involved giving a directive and having the child follow through with it.

I was repeatedly assured that no, my son did not have any problems, regardless of the fact that the teachers were tested daily to come up with new and interesting ideas to keep my son interested and focused. The only problem they informed me of, was his refusal to sit in a circle with the rest of the children for 'listening time', but they assured me that was all.Then he started kindergarten....

Within a week of attending class, the teacher called me aside and suggested that I put my son on medication. I was flabbergasted! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Needless to say, I kept in constant communication with his teacher, checking his progress to see if there were any improvements.

Unfortunately, there weren't. Not only was he having trouble concentrating in class,he was starting to show signs of behavioural issues at recess and lunch. It became a daily routine to talk with his teacher after class to see how he had behaved.

October came and with it his first field trip. I was rewarded at the end of his day with a decent report...he hadn't been very enthusiastic, but had listened fairly well to instructions, and there had been no problems. I was told however, that it would be appreciated if I could attend the next field trip as they felt he would respond better to me while away from the classroom.That information didn't seem to fit with the report, but I remained hopeful.

Shortly after the fieldtrip, my son received his first suspension for hitting his teacher. Of course, the principal was involved, and I was gently berated for my son's behaviour (as only a principal can do,) and I assured him I would deal with the situation at home as well.

However, at home I was noticing that not only was I having to repeat directions several times, my son was refusing to comply. At times it seemed he deliberately ignored whatever I was saying, and I had to physically help him complete the task, whether it was getting dressed, cleaning his room, brushing his teeth, or sitting at the table to eat.

At this point, the teacher suggested that I contact a pediatrician or seek out some community services help with dealing with my son. I reluctantly took her advise and signed up for a parenting class that dealt with 'Difficult /ADD/ADHD Children'. The very first class I attended, we were shown a video depicting the difference between an ADHD child without medication, and the same child with medication. I knew at that point my son fit the model of the child without meds.

My son received his second suspension right before his first Christmas concert. This time it was for choking another student in his class. Again the principal was involved, and of course, I was again scolded, this time a bit more forcefully, as if his outbursts were the result of poor parenting, and my son was not allowed to participate in the concert. (I think that upset me more than it did him to be honest.)

I completed the parenting course, and armed with a 4" binder full of notes, handouts and photocopied psychology texts, I was now considered educated and capable of retraining and supporting my son, however, as I was to discover, I was far from educated.

Following that incident, a community child care worker, who councelled other children in the school was called in to work with my son. That seemed to help, and although there were still issues, he finished the school year and passed into grade 1. I couldn't help but feel as if his teacher breathed a sigh of relief as we left the classroom for the last time.

I was determined to work with my son to help him be successful at home and in school, without medication. I didn't want to take that final step. To me it was like admitting defeat, and it carried with it a stigma the size of a flashing neon sign that read 'horrible parent'. However, regardless of my newfound 'education' my son was not responding to my efforts to help keep him on task.

Grade 1 started off on a fairly positive note as the teacher was more experienced in dealing with children who required more attention, and we discussed my son's progress at the end of each day. This seemed to work fairly well, and my son was progressing, allbeit reluctantly.

Unfortunately, just before the end of the school year, my marriage ended, my son and I relocated, and the world as we knew it ended! That started a roller coaster ride that plumbed the depths of despair, depression, ostracism, and depression.

Overnight, my son became a delinquent. He went from going full days in school to maybe half an hour on his best day. There were some days I would walk him to school, walk home, (10 minute trip each way) and by the time I got in the door the phone would be ringing...."Come get your son please....". Field trips, social/class activities and in school activities were all cut from his agenda.

The teachers and principal of his new school could not handle his outbursts and open defiance, so, as there were only two more months left in the school year, they elected to keep sending him home. The school guidance councellor was called in to speak with my son on a weekly basis, or more, depending on the severity of his outbursts.

Then the testing started...form after form after form. School tests, doctor's tests, pediatrician's tests, psychiatric examinations, psychologist's reports...everytime the phone rang it was another person we had to see, more forms to fill out and more tests. The end result...my son was diagnosed with Attention/Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Anxiety Disorder, and some Post Traumatic Stress. We were now officially labeled.

I finally conceeded the battle of medication in the beginning of June. At the end of grade 1, we had completed all the tests, seen all the appropriate people, and were on the waiting list for a "special Behavioural School", which of course was another way of saying "we don't want to deal with your son". He was passed into grade 2, having completed no work at all, and shuffled out of the school.

Not only was my son battling his own demons, (at the ripe old age of 7) he was facing a school system that was not equipped or prepared to provide him with the support that he required. If he was to garner any kind of education, he needed a decent support system in place to help him achieve it, and the only person who could fight for it was me.

I have since come to realize that resources, help, information and support are fragmented and difficult to find. Because of this and the amount of parents who need and deserve this information and support, I have created an online community for parents who are facing these challenges.

^{Copyright Enelle Lamb 2008 - Please do not copy and paste this article, but feel free to post a link using this url: http://hubpages.com/hub/Educating-the-Educators}